Get Your Rocks Out

Dena Patterson, a resident of Brooksville, Florida, came across this rock in 1996 while walking through the woods in West Virginia, according to this Hernando Today report. Found near a stream, the rock caught her eye because of the shape worn into its surface. Recently, Patterson took the rock to Peter Harries, an associate professor of geology at the University of South Florida, Tampa. She had thought it was granite, but Harries thinks it is shale or silt stone – some sort of fine-grained sedimentary rock. He attributes the pattern to the “preferential cementation of grains, or water percolating through sediment after it has been deposited.”

Harries goes on to share that the geology department does get periodic visits from folks with objects “that they feel are particularly unique or symbolic.” His perspective, however, is more scientific than spiritual. The fact is, mimicry is a very salient aspect of nature, which of course leads to the phenomenon of pareidolia.

For years, the rock has been a doorstop in Patterson’s home, but now she wants to sell it on eBay: "I expect to get a lot of money . . . This is a rock. It's not like it's a piece of cheese.""

Of course, she is referencing fellow Floridian Diana Duyser’s epic Virgin Mary grilled cheese windfall, though I doubt Patterson will receive $28,000 for this object, especially in light of all the other Virgin Mary rocks currently up for grabs on eBay.

Like this one from Oregon:


Or this one from Canada:


Patterson is 79-years-old and says her health is declining. Her desire to make money off this rock is directly linked, as she tells it, to wanting to be able to make a trip to West Virginia to visit family before her health becomes any worse. Regardless of how much the rock sells for, if it even sells, I hope she gets the chance to make one more trip to West Virginia.

Lastly, in more news of the Virgin Mary showing up in unexpected places, the Los Angeles Times ran this slideshow recently. I can’t figure out why, but it’s just another indicator of how Madonna of the Toast is culturally relevant, in far-flung suburbs as well as in big cities.

That's Gotta Hurt

Cannery Row in Monterey, California, made famous by John Steinbeck, flocked to by tourists for the dramatic coastline, popular aquarium and fresh seafood. Now, add to the list of Cannery Row points of interest the place where Marc Lipton (the man whose knee you see above) lost control of his motorcycle, sliding 50 feet, according to this KSBW story. The scrape, to Lipton, looks like the Virgin Mary and he cites the resemblance as the reason why he did not suffer a more severe injury. Lipton was close to home, so he wasn’t wearing leather chaps. The scrape does have that hooded Virgin Mary shape. Lucky as Lipton was, that really has to hurt. I can't imagine getting home and going right for my camera. I wonder how it will scar. No word on the condition of the bike.

Many Madonna of the Toast stories originate in California, which makes sense since it is the state that bore many iconographic American images (thanks, Hollywood). Steinbeck certainly played a hand in crafting California into the American psyche with his astounding and acute renderings and responses to Manifest Destiny.

Steinbeck did cast his gaze beyond the US, however, so here is some extra credit reading: a travel essay written by him about Positano, Italy, which first appeared in a 1953 issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The piece details the drive from Rome and the goings on of this ancient Amalfi Coast town. The writing is straight travelogue with ample examples of the local color (like the embittered cobbler who is convinced that all of his shoe designs are stolen by the designers in the cities).



Germane to this blog, however, is this story of the town’s very own Virgin Mary sighting, involving the church above, Santa Maria Assunta (no reason to paraphrase Steinbeck):

Like most Italian towns Positano has its miraculous picture. It is a Byzantine representation of the Virgin Mary. Once long ago, the story goes, the Saracenic pirates raided the town and among other things carried away this picture. But they had no sooner put to sea when a vision came to them which so stunned them that they returned the picture. Every year on August 15, this incident is reenacted with great fury and some bloodshed. In the night the half-naked pirates attack the town which is defended by Positanese men-at-arms dressed in armor. Some of this fighting gets pretty serious. The pirates then go to the church and carry the holy picture off into the night. Now comes the big moment. As soon as they have disappeared into the darkness, a bright and flaming image of an angel appears in the sky. At present General Mark Clark is the sponsor of this miracle. He gave the town a surplus Air Force barrage balloon [my hyperlink]. Then very soon the pirates return their boats and restore the picture to the church and everybody marches and sings and has a good time.

I love the fact that the "flaming image of an angel" is achieved using a World War II leftover! War and religion have always walked hand-in-hand I suppose.

Anyone else in the mood for a trip to Italy?

UK Representing!

That’s a rock in a Welsh garden. The owner’s niece was out playing and came into the house to ask who the man in the garden was. The girl’s aunt didn’t see a man, but she did see the face of Elvis Presley on the slab of slate. This story comes from icWales.co.uk, and even goes so far as to link Elvis to this area in Wales. But first, the rock.

The owner has asked to remain anonymous, concerned that swarms of fans would otherwise descend on her property, disrupting the bucolic tranquility. Apparently, she has already been offered close to $2,000 for the rock, but even though she is not a big fan of Elvis’s music, she has become attached to the iconic visual manifestation.

Bought as an ornament, the owner of the stone says that the image was not there at first. It took six months for the face to appear. In her words: “We left it alone, imagining it would disappear as quickly as it had come, but that hasn’t happened. It’s still there.”

According to the article, a whole body of academic research already exists linking Elvis’s familial lineage to this western portion of Wales that sits in the shadows of the . . . Preseli mountains! Apparently Druids used rocks from this area for Stonehenge.

Here’s what the article says:

Cardiff academic Terry Breverton claimed in 2000 to have new evidence that Elvis’ ancestors came from Wales, citing the link between the names Presley and Preseli.

Supporting his theory was the legend of St Elvis of Munster, who apparently baptised St David. Mr Breverton claimed the Presley family could well have had links with a Pembrokeshire chapel dedicated to St Elvis, the only one known in Britain.

And he pointed to the Welsh names of Elvis’ mother Gladys, his stillborn brother, Jesse Garon and his grandmother Doll Mansell, who may be descended from the famous Mansel family of Gower.

So, has Elvis returned to his roots? Think he’s thirsty for a Jesus cider?



The Daily Mail reports that Michael Cartwright, a taxi driver from Darlington, was at Tanners Hall, his local pub, with some mates when the “barmaid” brought the group’s drinks to the table. As soon as she popped the top off Cartwright’s bottle, the face of Jesus puckered up in the foil. His buddies saw it, too. And the barmaid must have as well, as she cleared the bottles, leaving Cartwright with nothing more than memories and a tummy full of cider.

Bully for you United Kingdom! I downed many pints of lager in London a few weeks ago, but I didn’t see Jesus, Elvis or many barmaids. In Madonna of the Toast, there are several stories from the UK, including an Oscar fish from Allah, a Michelin Man carrot and the face of Rasputin in a cat’s ear. You’ll have to buy the book to see those!

Jesus Ultrasound

Hi all you Madonna of the Toast fans! Did you miss me? Doesn’t seem like I missed too much in the world of the visual manifestations of religious and secular icons, though I do have one to share.



This Jesus on the Cross ultrasound: according to this Fox News 6 report, Monet Sledge from Lorain, Ohio, went to the doctor, pregnant with her first child, “expecting to see little body parts . . . Like a face, arms and legs." The baby girl’s legs, as seen by her doting mother, however, are extended in such a way to resemble Jesus’s stretched arms. In Sledge’s words: “I was shocked like really.”

Some people have told Sledge to sell the ultrasound image on eBay. Others think the image means the child will have a blessed life. Only time will tell, but the best news of all is that the baby is healthy.

What I See in Dick Cheney's Sunglasses

If you are reading this, I find it hard to believe that you haven’t seen this White House sanctioned photograph of Dick Cheney – Friday’s infectious internet entertainment (and of course entertainment becomes the news, or is the news: makes you wonder). Here is something from Wired.

Seems pretty clear to me that the reflections in the Veep’s shades are his wrists, maybe some knuckles. They bulge in such a way that led some (okay, many) to speculate whether or not Cheney had lied to his wife and instead of going fishing, got strippers (and who says that you can’t do both at once?). Upon further examination, everyone now seems to agree that there is no woman in front of Cheney (although those Bohemian Grove summer retreats sound pretty wild, but this was in Idaho).

This was the lede that circulated:

The Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese and the Illinois-shaped corn flake appear to have new competition for webbies' fascination . . .

Our relationship with the image is on a fast track to a destination that I can’t locate, though I’m certainly along for the ride. What’s really interesting about this Cheney picture is that people are studying and speculating about an image of a reflection (another image). They are not examining the actual reflection. The stories I tend to relate are about one person’s interpretation of a physical object marked in some way with a recognizable, iconic form, and how then that is disseminated into the culture.

This tendency to find meaning in the abstract, to see something and make it mean something, or want it to mean something, strikes me as a trait that makes us human. The conspiracy theorist tries to force in one more piece of the puzzle; someone down on their luck sees a just budding tree that makes life a little, or a lot, better; the carefree kid yanks a burnt Pop Tart out of the toaster, sees a sneaker logo and sells it on eBay. We invest meaning in the visual – for an array of reasons from the spiritual to the absurd – for the sake of recognition. What we see is how we place ourselves in this world.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted my 100th entry. It’s been more than a year of compiling these stories in the wake of the book, and I am floored by how they still draw me in because of how they mirror and reflect our world. I’ll be traveling for the next couple of weeks. I might chime in, I might not. But come May, I’ll be back, looking to spruce the place up a bit, trying to take all of these little stories and weave them together. It’s certainly something I do in Madonna of the Toast, but these stories don’t stop.

Gnarled Jesus Profile

Ohio’s Ashtabula Star Beacon reports that Greg Wolfe and two others were chopping wood last week when this log got spit out of a “gasoline log splitter.” When Wolfe’s friend said it looked like Jesus, Wolfe ignored him, busy with the task at hand. The log was set aside, and once the men were done, they all agreed that it looked like Jesus. The pensive human lines of the wood are definitely noticeable, especially the nose, cheek bone and lips. One person suggested that Wolfe should view this log's creation as a sign that he doesn't spend his Sundays in the right place.

Now, Wolfe has the gnarled profile on exhibit at his store, Andover Appliance, in Andover, Ohio: “he’s trying to spark interest within the public to come and take a look at it.” Do I smell an eBay campaign in the making?

And speaking of eBay, after more than 13,000 visits in less than a week and 96 bids, the Jesus Spoon from last post sold for $760. How about that?

Jesus Spoon

In Hardin, Kentucky, JW Davis’s daughter pulled this spoon out of the dishwasher where she works and brought it home. She had noticed the face of Jesus, and her dad saw it, too. Now the spoon is on eBay. Ninety bids have escalated the price to over $600 (as of Saturday afternoon).

Davis has been very active on eBay, posting links to news stories about the spoon and directing potential bidders to sites that contain better photographs of the spoon (“It was very hard to photograph because the image almost appears in 3D.”). Davis has also sweetened the deal: the winner of this auction receives the spoon specially encased, along with photographs and media memorabilia like newspaper clippings.

According to this 9 News report, Davis said: “I'm just hoping that if I get rid of it, it's a blessing to somebody because of the image that's on it." Davis also expressed his hope that ultimately the spoon would be on display for public viewing.

With all of the iconic foodstuffs surfacing these days, I guess it only makes sense that famous flatware would follow.

No word about what Davis’s daughter’s boss has to say about her taking the spoon.