July Junk

Thanks to the anonymous reader who left the tip about the kudzu Jesus in Kinston, North Carolina. We’re just shy of the two-year anniversary of this kudzu Jesus from Raleigh. It’s true, North Carolina has a lot of kudzu. This particular form has been spared a spray of pesticide.

How has the summer treated you so far? Unlike last year, I’m keeping close to New York. Haven’t had to use the air conditioner yet, though tonight is the first night where I seem to be breaking a sweat typing. Hmmm.

I’m reading next Monday in Washington Heights in support of the amazing Word Up Pop-Up Bookstore, run by friend Veronica Liu. The event is an official Meetup for legendary radio station WFMU (go here and scroll down to the February 26, 2007, episode of The Speakeasy with Dorian to hear me discuss Madonna of the Toast, should you dare, or care).

Also, my pal Christopher D Salyers is gearing up for a trip to Japan as part of his third and final installment of the Face Food books. Have you ever seen a Japanese bento box made to resemble a character? If you have, and you’re not Japanese, blame Christopher. A few years back he introduced charaben to Westerners and since then it has become quite the fad, both in terms of food and design. Since I know all of you have already spent your hard-earned money on my books, think about contributing to Christopher’s Kickstarter project, especially if you’ve ever wanted to see your face rendered in rice, seaweed and okra.

Happy summer!

It Must Be Summer

It’s been a hot, muggy summer here on the East Coast, with air conditioners humming nonstop and pools and beaches overrun with folks seeking respite. Even up in New England, the days have been unseasonably warm, which is good news for places like Liquid Planet Water Park. Located in Candia, New Hampshire, the past couple of summers had been rainy so business was slow. But, according to this Union Leader report, not too long after opening for the new season, Liquid Planet employees noticed the face of Jesus on the red cross of the lifeguard flag. According to Kevin Dumont, one of the park’s owners, this year’s weather has been perfect and business is up 200 percent.

Dumont’s sister, Kelly, thinks the form is more a likeness of a gladiator, or a rendering of the Beatles (minus Ringo, I presume). But lifeguard Sara Schlachter recognized Christ as soon as the flag was unfurled, though she is not religious. Either way, you can’t argue with hard numbers, so whether it’s weather (ha!) or divine intervention, it seems like this is one small family-owned business that will stay afloat for another year, which in this day and age is an impressive feat.

I know it’s been a while since I posted a Madonna of the Toast tale, but it’s not because the heat has sapped me. I’ve been busy elsewhere, and if you’re interested you can see what I’ve been up to.

The venerable magazine Print, which I have contributed to over the years, has recently started an online forum called Imprint, and I’m one of the regular contributors. If you have any interest in keeping up with visual trends, from typography to art, branding and packaging design, you’ll find something worthwhile.

I also wrote recently about the amazing Tara Books for The Living Principles. If you like the idea of book as object, you have to read about Tara.

Until next time . . .

All About the Light

In Mercedes, Texas, according to this KRGV report, Merced Mendoza spotted this image of Jesus on her pants and her husband was there to photograph it using his phone. As she drove, Mendoza spotted the image on her thigh. By virtue of the sun’s location, how it landed on her otherwise plain jeans and matters of physics beyond my ability to describe, the form took shape, just long enough for it to be digitized, and then submitted to the media. The Mendozas “lead a small church” and find the fleeting face a blessing that inspires them, and they hope it does the same for others.



Now to Puerto Rico and the pale winter skin of a New Yorker on vacation. Not just any New Yorker, this arm marked with a sunburn shaped like a hand belongs to my pal and the internationally acclaimed champion of charaben, Christopher D Salyers. Christopher missed out on last week’s snow, preferring to laze on a beach. He did get a little local culture in, however, including a stop in a store where he noticed a photograph of clouds shaped like hands folded in prayer. When Christopher inquired about the image (thinking of yours truly) he was told that these were believed to be the hands of God. And then, later that day this shape emerged on his arm. But, says Christopher, he neither napped nor drunkenly passed out in the sun, leaving in question the source of the unique marking.



Back in April I explored various interpretations of “hand of God” should any of you want to read up on the concept.

In both of these examples the sun was the cause. But what was the reason?

Happy Holidaze!

For this Holidaze post, I bring you a Jesus banana and His mother as a cascading waterfall. Who needs a manger?

According to this Daily Telegraph report, Lisa Swinton went to her fruit bowl for a healthy snack and chose this slightly bruised banana, found at the bottom of the bowl. Everyone knows that the brown spots equal sweetness, but Swinton was shocked when she noticed the face: ‘‘I was like ‘Oh my God! It’s Jesus on a banana!’’ I guess Swinton was really hungry because she snapped some pics and then peeled this sucker, later posting images on her Facebook page. For Swinton and her crowd, such visual manifestations, apparently, are no big thing; she tells the Daily Telegraph that her friends have seen Mary in mold and on a door. But have they seen Mary in a waterfall?



The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “You cannot step twice in the same river.” And that goes for waterfalls, too, meaning photographer Carl Silverstein was in the right place at the right time when he shot this photograph. Titled “Falls of Foyer – Woman Holding Child,” Silverstein emailed me the image as he thought I would appreciate it, which I do. The patterns and rhythms of nature inform everything about life, no matter how far-removed we are from those patterns and rhythms; their echoes influence how people recognize these forms in the most unexpected places, even if the people don’t realize it.

See you in 2010, people. If you miss me, Madonna of the Toast can keep you company.

Buy That Man a Beer!

The photograph accompanies this Johnson City Press article makes me like Jim Stevens of Jonesborough, Tennessee. It makes me want to buy him a beer. There he is, looking at the window of his Isuzu and the image of Jesus rendered by morning dew with some regularity. He is casually nonplussed and probably ready to talk about something else. It is an admittedly recognizable face of Christ and it apparently keeps appearing most mornings. The window has even been rolled down (though Stevens isn’t going to wash it). But Stevens isn’t religious and it doesn’t seem like this will convert him: “[H]e believes strange things happen and that he has no explanation for the image on his truck’s window.”

These Madonna of the Toast tales usually grace the faithful, or those who’ve been looking for an excuse to roll holy. The image has definitely surprised Stevens but he isn’t trying to impose meaning or latch it to some aspect of his life, even with his “bum shoulder.” Stevens knows the image will stir up different emotions in different people and he’s happy to let everyone see whatever it is they want to see. Referring to employees at a market who went and took a gander at the truck when Stevens was shopping, he said, “There was no doubt when they came out they saw what they saw.”

Ain’t that the truth!

Cultural Dependence

Have you missed me? It’s been a busy few weeks. I went to Germany and even had an email account hacked. And how about the whole Balloon Boy fiasco? Richard and Mayumi Heene are awful but the media did not help the matter. Why report on real news when there’s live footage of a boy hurtling through the sky in a UFO-esque contraption, most likely on the way to his death? Veracity is secondary, it’s the story, what we think we see or want to see. Do we really want to see a tragedy involving a kid? What do you see?

In Oakdale, California, David Nunez’s father excavated a “football-sized rock” ornamented with what the two men saw as an image of the Virgin of Guadalupe, according to this Boston Herald story. Of course, “the caramel-brown and chalkboard black hunk of gneiss, a banded metamorphic rock that started out as sandstone and shale” dates back millions and millions of years. This shape was created around the same time as the Sierra Nevada Mountains, way before humans and human stories spawned. Merced College humanities professor Max Hallman gets it: "Culturally, people in India may have seen a Hindu goddess on it. If you’ve never heard of the Virgin of Guadalupe, you wouldn’t have seen it. Visions are culturally dependent.”



What then, Professor, can we deduce about the culture of Braehead, Scotland, where the purported image of Christ has been spotted on the bathroom door of an Ikea? According to this Telegraph UK report, visitors to the men’s room see Jesus and Gandolf. As such Madonna of the Toast stories go all of this is pretty standard. Here comes the curveball: the Ikea claims that the face is intentional, and meant to portray Benny Anderson of ABBA. As a spokeswoman said: “Swedishness is engrained in every part of our stores."

I love it when corporate branding and national identity mingle, especially when some late 1970s pop music joins the mix . . .

Kudzu Jesus

If you recall from my last post, I’m from Philadelphia. I didn’t learn of kudzu, a tenacious climbing vine, until I had friends living in Asheville, North Carolina, where the stuff runs roughshod. It should come as no surprise then that a kudzu Jesus has been discovered in Raleigh, North Carolina, visible from the Boylan Avenue Bridge, close to train tracks.

What’s really interesting about this story is how it originated on the blog Goodnight, Raleigh! and then became a news item, thanks to the North Raleigh News.

Goodnight, Raleigh! is “a look at the art, architecture, history, and people of the city at night.” John Morris, one of the blog’s regular contributors, was out on the bridge one night talking trains with friends when a pub patron ambled by and pointed out how the kudzu running along wires takes on the appearance of outstretched arms, a la the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro.



Morris writes of the form that it is “merely a coincidental growth formation on power lines, but can still be an interesting topic of conversation.”

One man’s coincidence is another man’s human interest story, however. Writing for the North Raleigh News, Josh Shaffer came at the overgrowth from a slightly different angle: “He snakes up a utility pole, forming a majestic trunk and a head seemingly bowed in prayer or agony. A pair of arms appears to spread along the wires in each direction, inviting the world into a leafy embrace.” Shaffer even discussed the topic with Pete Surrette, who happened to walk “past with ketchup-stained pants and a Ziploc bag full of toiletries.” Says Surrette: "He's got the outstretched arms and everything. I walk these tracks and never noticed it. It was just a bush to me."

Isn’t that what Moses said?

Here’s more on Surrette as reported by Shaffer:

As he muses on its resemblance to the Lamb of God, Surrette mentions that he spent nine years behind bars for attacking a man with a garden rake. If the Kudzu Jesus turned around, he could see the window of the very cell in Central Prison where Surrette served his sentence.

But the mysterious bush keeps its gaze fixed straight ahead, vine-made eyes on the path where Surrette is strolling away, offering shelter from a hard world.

If only that rake were still around, I bet Surrette could get himself a landscaping gig down there by the tracks.

What's In Your Heart?

Philadelphia – place of my birth, the hometown, the punch line for many jokes (this Michael Vick development won't help) and a city I wish I knew better. Sure, I can navigate the streets no problem – William Penn’s street grids help – but I have no idea what’s going on along those streets. My periodic visits these days make clear that there is plenty going on, but I’m not the one to tout these changes.

But if there is a subject that I can claim authority and expertise it’s the visual manifestations of religious and secular icons. So let's set our sights on the greater Philadelphia region, Levittown to be exact – a place with some history of its own. According to this Fox 29 report, a woman discovered everybody’s favorite longhaired spokesman for peace and love in this MRI. The oft-recognized facial form can be seen in the area of her heart.

Even by Madonna of the Toast standards the information provided by the media regarding this latest Jesus appearance is sketchy at best. But that’s how the news functions these days I suppose: find the story and worry about facts never. If some unnamed person said it happen, than it did.

This item has been picked up by Fox News affiliates across the country. I guess Jesus in the heart is a nice break from false reports of “death panels.”

Toliet Seat Bumper Sticker

Bumper stickers: the excuse to espouse your beliefs and let others know what you think without ever having to engage in a dialogue. People brag about their kids, claim something or someplace as the best and get political, philosophical and just plain silly.

Of course, most people place these adhesive announcements on their cars but Las Vegas resident Magdalena Nelson loves her hometown so much that she’s affixed an “I Love [expressed with a heart] Las Vegas” sticker on her toilet seat. And, according to this KTNV report, the face of Jesus has appeared in that red heart of love. Nelson’s boyfriend sees the face too, and it’s given the couple “a positive feeling after they almost lost their home to foreclosure.”



If you’re going to be in Vegas and want to take a gander at this bumper sticker, or just need to use the bathroom, you can email Nelson to arrange a visit.

Ukraine Jesus Wall

To western Ukraine we go, to “a metallically reinforced factory wall at the Velyky Berezny township” to be exact. The wall belongs to a lumber factory, according to this Russia Today report, and it features an image of Jesus, prompting locals to pay their respects. Though, the police have also been paying close attention to the wall because “debates on the divinity of the image are often and heated, and in the multi-ethnic region – apart from Ukrainians the township is also inhabited by Rusyns, Hungarians and Slovaks – tensions may easily flare.”

It doesn’t really sound like Texas, California or Florida, does it? But fear not, technology makes the foreign familiar for all of us anymore, and this area of the Ukraine, for all of its ethnic conflicts, is no different. According to the article, many of the onlookers capture the image using, you guessed it, their mobile phones.

We all speak different languages, adhere to myriad traditions and beliefs, but in this day and age we all, no matter where in the world we reside, are accustomed to, dare I say rely on, the ability to memorialize a moment and then disseminate it using phones and other such hand-held gadgetry. I’m not complaining, too much, since my phone doesn’t have a camera. Plus, these phones definitely provide lots of Madonna of the Toast fodder. But isn’t is amazing just how these technologies level barriers of space and time, accelerating the power of the image?

Reader Response

The ultimate long summer weekend looms so why do my own research when I can rely on a reader of this here blog? I was made aware of this Jesus tree by Helot over at Maniac Annex. Dubbed as “Jesus in the Maple Tree” the facial form, as pointed out on the blog, does bear an eerie resemblance to South Park’s version of Jesus.

Thanks for the lead Helot!

If any other readers have their own personal pareidolia feel free to share in the comments.

Keep any eye out for iconic forms in your fireworks . . .

The Wonders of Yeast

According to this Daily Telegraph report, Claire Allen of Ystrad, Rhondda, Wales, opened a jar of Marmite so she could spread some on her son’s toast. The face of Jesus was staring at her from the back of the lid. She showed her husband Gareth: "When I first looked at it I wasn't sure, but when I moved it away from me it started coming out. I thought Christ, yeah, she's right - that's the image of Jesus.”

This is the first Madonna of the Toast story where “Christ” is used as an exclamation to emphasize the presence of Jesus’s face in an unexpected place. This is not, however, the first time that Marmite has been an aspect of these stories. If you haven’t read the book you wouldn’t know. But way back in 2006 as I was wrapping up the book, British artist Dermot Flynn made quite a splash in the UK media with his Marmite art – “Marmart” – images of which appear in Madonna of the Toast. (Interestingly enough, Flynn is represented by Dutch Uncle Agency, which also represents my buddy Noma Bar.)

Surprised that yeast extract could be so dynamic?

Kit Kat Kitsch

Greetings from London, folks. Keeping with the European theme of my current location, the Kit Kat Jesus above was found on Good Friday by some Dutch guy. According to this little blurb (read a translation of the NU.nl letter to the editor here), the guy was on a break and, you guessed it, he broke off a piece of that Kit Kat bar, only to find Jesus.

A brilliant Nestle publicity stunt or a divine snack? Do you think that Kit Kat Easter sales went up in The Netherlands as a result?

More anon . . .

Found in 1972, Making News Today

Joan Reed Carter of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, found this spindly shell back in 1972, while shelling with friends. According to this South Florida Sun-Sentinel article, Carter’s shell has been associated with Jesus since she first picked it up. In fact, one of the friends she was with that day declared: “Well I can't take it home with me because my husband's an atheist.”

Discussing her own relationship with religion Carter said: “Every night my mother would give us a crucifix to kiss. But I like all religions. If I'm near a synagogue I'll go there. If there's a Catholic cathedral, then I'll go there. We all came from the same place and we're all going to end up in the same place."

Over the years anyone that’s seen the shell thinks Carter should do something with it and I guess the approach of Easter inspired her to contact the media. She claims that some people get nervous around the object, not even wanting to touch it. And once, Carter snapped a photo of it but it came out blank. Luckily, the image made itself visible for the newspaper’s photographer.

Worth noting that while the incidence of seeing Jesus and the Virgin Mary in unexpected places has skyrocketed since 1972, Carter claims that no one goes shelling anymore because there are no shells on the beaches.

Jesus Needed a Haircut

In Greenock, Scotland, according to this Greenock Telegraph report, Karim Babaa was having lunch on a bench when he noticed the face of Jesus on a garden wall. Formed by weathered stone and moss, the image was immediately recognizable to Babaa, a barber and a Muslim. Babbaa works at the Cutting Room (get it?) and when he showed his boss Alan Stocks the wall, he too agreed that it resembled Jesus.

Both men often relax in the garden, which sits between apartment blocks and Westburn Church, but neither of them had noticed the face until recently. Stocks cites the approach of Easter as a possible explanation. I prefer an explanation that factors in the amount of time Babaa and Stocks spend dealing with facial hair.

A local minister had this to say: “I’ve seen the image and, if it amuses people, then that’s fair enough. It all comes down to imagination.”

He’s right. It’s imagination that resulted in Babaa, originally from Tunisia, seeing the face in the first place: “This really looks like the face of Jesus. I’m a Muslim but I read lots of books and that is Jesus.”

Think he’s read Madonna of the Toast?

And speaking of imagination, this story has yielded two of the best captions I’ve read in a while – leave it to those UK tabloid writers:

“Christ-Moss Present” (Greenock Telegraph)

“It moss be him . . .” (The Scottish Sun)

Potato Chips: A Salty Sacrament?

I’m a big fan of potato chips, both as snack and Madonna of the Toast fodder. In fact, right before I read about the Jesus chip above, I had just polished off a bag of jalapeno chips, the perfect compliment to a PB&J sandwich.

The chip that Linda and Brian Hershey found while eating at a restaurant in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania, doesn’t seem to have any additional flavoring (I assume it was salted), unless you count the face of Jesus as a flavor. Regardless if anyone ever has the chance to taste this particular chip, the Hersheys very much consider the discovery a sign that they are on the right path in life. About six months ago they, along with their 15-year-old daughter, accepted Jesus into their lives, and this chip bolsters their decision. Furthermore, just before Linda noticed Brian about to eat the chip, according to this Chambersburg Public Opinion report, the couple had been talking about quitting smoking. And now, perhaps they will, or not.

Of course, the doubters have chimed in, accusing the Hersheys of doctoring the chip. I’ve looked at lots of chips and I don’t think this one has been altered. Selling it on eBay has also been brought up, as has eating it – I guess that would be like taking communion, but tastier. As of now, the Hersheys are undecided, though they are worried about preserving the chip and its crispy countenance.



I should put them in touch with the ultimate maven of potato chips that have iconic qualities: Myrtle Young. One of the true stars of Madonna of the Toast, Young is the friendly octogenarian from Indiana who to this day lives with her famous collection of potato chips that resemble famous figures like Bob Hope and Mickey Mouse. She’s been on every late show of the 1980s and her collection has been featured on The Simpsons – now that’s fame!

If the Hersheys read the book, they would know exactly how Young has kept her chips safe, even when she used to shuttle them all over the world. I don’t know if Brian and Linda will ever travel with their Jesus chip, but they are certainly in the process of getting some decent figurative mileage out of it . . .

Does an Image Trump Location?

Jubilee Fellowship parishioner Mary Mitchum took it upon herself to give the church’s lectern a new shine. According to this Augusta Chronicle article, Mitchum stripped the old finish off and applied a new coat of varnish. As soon as she brought the lectern back to the church someone claimed to see Jesus in the wood grain: “There were two eyes, a nose, hair and maybe even a halo.”

Now, I don’t see much of anything in this photograph, but as regular readers know by now, it isn’t about what I see. What do you see? I’m guessing in this instance many of you won’t see much, but here is the story nonetheless, orbiting around in the 24-hour news cycle, a fleeting shooting star that only a handful of people may ever actually witness.

I’ve spent time in Augusta, Georgia, and even been to a church there, twice – once when my grandmother remarried and then again when she passed away, back in the mid-90s. She had moved there and on more than one occasion I spent several weeks on end in those hot, humid summers. We stayed with extended family and they had a pool so it wasn’t that bad, but those trips were the first time I realized just how different the country is depending on geography. With most of my family peppered around the northeastern part of the US, the funniest accent I had heard was an uncle’s “a”-heavy Boston speak. The drawls in Georgia can be syrupy, the same way people tend to move when the heat is at its fiercest.

Fact is, due to all sorts of circumstances, life is different in Augusta than it is in Philadelphia or Berkeley or Austin. And the same was true back when I was a kid first visiting places outside of the area where I grew up.

When I first endeavored this whole Madonna of the Toast project I had assumed that the stories would be limited in terms of geographical range. I was wrong, happily. While there are some geographic tendencies for these stories, namely areas heavily populated by Spanish-speaking populations (e.g. California, Texas), for the most part the stories favor the image over where the image is seen.

I haven’t really fleshed this idea out yet, but I haven’t thought about Augusta, Georgia, in a while either. I haven’t been back there since that funeral, yet I still have strong associations with the place. These images of Jesus and Mary seem to transcend place on some level, which I guess is the true power of iconography.

More on this once I’ve thought about it more . . .

Recession Proof

About 10 years ago, during a remodeling, the wooden door seen above was installed at Jarrett Ford Lincoln Mercury in Dade City, Florida. Recently, because of the recession, people working at the car dealership have some extra time on their hands, and one of them saw Jesus on this door, according to this St. Petersburg Times article. Or is it Sasquatch or a “Persian prince” (whatever that means)? There are some different opinions about the image, but the form has clearly given some people in need of something to do, something to do.

Chips Davis, who runs a dent removal service, was the first to liken the 3-foot tall shape to Jesus: "Anybody who's seen pictures of the burial cloth and image of Christ that's on that cloth — that same image is on that door.” (Davis attends church; I would think he’d be able to name the Shroud of Turin.) Anyway, he took a photo, sent a copy to the St. Petersburg Times and posted the image on his Facebook page.

Receptionist Ruth Johnson is credited for the Sasquatch quip and customer James Bauman Jr. suggested, “Christ in a Jedi outfit . . . [or a] Persian king." Then, as the article explains it, Bauman touched on a number of topical cultural markers, citing “significance in the stain, just as there is in Barack Obama being president and Israel's conflict with Hamas.” He said: "I believe the Rapture is just around the corner.” It’s beyond the scope of this post to figure out how all of this bundles up into a sure sign of the end, but if you’re reading, John, feel free to leave a comment.

General manager Cliff Martin hadn’t noticed anything until it was pointed out to him: "I like to say we're blessed but we're not breaking any sales records, so maybe we're just blessed to be in business." Judging by how quickly the US is shedding jobs, I’d say he’s right.

A Stony Jesus

"I ain't no rock scientist, but call Dr. Dre ...” So uttered Erik "Smoke" Jones. According to this Contra Costa Times article, Jones discovered the face of Jesus on this stone, one of many that comprises the counter at the store Cali Style in Redlands, California. Jones told his boss Jonathan Hernandez about the discovery, and presumably Hernandez told the media. The counter has been in the shop for years, but Jones only noticed the image a couple of months ago.

The writer reports that from different angles the face better resembles Che Guevara or just a black splotch. Whatever it is you see, however, Jones adamantly denies having painted the stone, and while neither a geologist nor Dr. Dre were consulted, the reporter does make it a point to say that the form seems to be a natural occurrence.

According to the article, “the image is viewed more as a curiosity than a sign of divine presence.” In fact, Hernandez hopes the visual manifestation doesn’t attract too many of the devout. I guess lots of folks praying and lighting candles could interfere with the business, and if really large groups began to congregate they could also get in the way of Hernandez’s business next door: THC Smoke Shop. Makes for a new interpretation of this phrase from the article: “stony store counter.”

Without incriminating myself too much, I can say that several years of living in California did prove to me that the state’s pot culture is something truly um, err, uhh . . .

Lava Lamp Vision

For this most recent report of Mary and Jesus appearing unexpectedly we head down under, to Sydney, Australia, where one John Smith – at least that’s what he’s calling himself – has made public his psychedelic discovery: “I turned on my brand new lava lamp and watched in awe as the unmistakable image of the Holy Mary cradling the Baby Jesus appeared.” According to this Herald Sun article, Smith has kept this visual manifestation private for over a year, during which he has kept the lamp unplugged and his life has gone from ho-hum to dandy – including lucrative job offers and a woman. Now it’s time to share this “miracle” with the world, hence www.holymarylamp.com.

The article, dated January 16, reports that at the time of writing the site’s visitor counter read 251, but as of writing this, also on January 16, the ticker reads over 54,000! Never ceases to amaze me how folks love looking at these images (or love to hate looking at them).

For those of you keeping score at home, this is the first time a lava lamp has been the vessel for such a vision, which is kind of surprising really. There have been plenty of foodstuffs, plastic bags, stones, driftwood and chipping paint but no lava lamps. These colorful novelty items have been around since the 1960s, becoming a critical accoutrement to any hippie hideaway. I bet John Smith isn’t the first person to turn on a lava lamp and see Jesus, but he’s certainly the first guy to dedicate a website to his vision.



Not that lava lamps are underrepresented in today’s culture, as this Obama lava lamp proves.