Tree Falls, Story Ends

July 2007: I shared with you the story of a Virgin Mary Cottonwood tree in Brownsville, Texas, which had attracted the devout and curious for more than twenty years, besting weather and even an arsonist. But, according to this Brownsville Herald story, “when heavy rains swept through the Rio Grande Valley on Tuesday, winds toppled the tree to the ground and left it resting in pieces outside of the now abandoned boarding house where it was located. Purple and red plastic flowers were crushed under the soft, wet wood.” (Great image!)

According to a local resident, people didn’t flock to the tree like they used to, which in my mind explains the plastic flowers (real flowers dry and decay). I’ve long been fascinated with the lasting power of Madonna of the Toast stories. This tree’s story spanned four US presidents, outrageous technological developments and plenty more. Sure, this Cottonwood was no Giant Sequoia, but these days it doesn’t seem like anything ever lasts that long. Here ends one tree’s unique tale.

Happy Holidaze!

For this Holidaze post, I bring you a Jesus banana and His mother as a cascading waterfall. Who needs a manger?

According to this Daily Telegraph report, Lisa Swinton went to her fruit bowl for a healthy snack and chose this slightly bruised banana, found at the bottom of the bowl. Everyone knows that the brown spots equal sweetness, but Swinton was shocked when she noticed the face: ‘‘I was like ‘Oh my God! It’s Jesus on a banana!’’ I guess Swinton was really hungry because she snapped some pics and then peeled this sucker, later posting images on her Facebook page. For Swinton and her crowd, such visual manifestations, apparently, are no big thing; she tells the Daily Telegraph that her friends have seen Mary in mold and on a door. But have they seen Mary in a waterfall?



The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “You cannot step twice in the same river.” And that goes for waterfalls, too, meaning photographer Carl Silverstein was in the right place at the right time when he shot this photograph. Titled “Falls of Foyer – Woman Holding Child,” Silverstein emailed me the image as he thought I would appreciate it, which I do. The patterns and rhythms of nature inform everything about life, no matter how far-removed we are from those patterns and rhythms; their echoes influence how people recognize these forms in the most unexpected places, even if the people don’t realize it.

See you in 2010, people. If you miss me, Madonna of the Toast can keep you company.

Canned Religion

Spend enough time squinting and deciphering stains and burns thought to resemble iconic faces and forms and the stories start to get a bit humdrum. Such is the case with this recent Virgin Mary pancake from Glendale, Arizona, made by Bianca Lopez the day before Thanksgiving, according to this ABC 15 report. Short story made shorter: Lopez made a batch of flapjacks for her family and the last one featured a shape that she recognized immediately. This visual manifestation has delivered to Lopez the requisite “peace and comfort” and it is now in her freezer for the sake of posterity. End of story.

But for me the real revelation has been learning about the existence of Batter Blaster. Apparently, folks, including Lopez, spray pancake batter from a can. I guess this really shouldn’t come as a surprise because if you can squeeze cheese (or some semblance thereof) from a can squeeze pretty much anything from a can, right? Cheese is a bit more complex to make than pancakes, however. I’ve always been appalled by the idea of pancake mix, so this pressurized version of the stuff really puts me off, even if it is organic.

Of course, there isn't a boring story in Madonna of the Toast, which does include a papal pancake!

Samoa: More Than A Reality Television Location

Did you know that Apia is the capital of Samoa? I didn’t, until an image of the Virgin Mary showed up there on the John Williams Building. According to these Samoa Live and News.com.au reports the image results from many years of dripping water and mold. But even with that explanation floating around as many as 500 people have gathered at one time to admire and discuss the form. And for good reason, Samoa just made a big change, a change so significant that the country prayed in unison to help the transition happen smoothly. In Samoa, they now drive on the left, like here in the United States.

Many interpret this visual manifestation as evidence that God has been looking down on the paradisal Pacific nation (though there has already been one report of a maimed pedestrian who forgot to look both ways when crossing the street). Others think the shape better resembles a bottle of Coke than the Virgin Mary.

Father Spartz Silva, Secretary of the Archbishop, had this to say: “It is creating curiosity, which is a good thing, it has triggered us to ask ourselves the basic question of who we are, and our purpose in life.”

I guess hosting a season of Survivor doesn’t count as “purpose.”

Be My Friend

Sometimes, these Madonna of the Toast images really grab your attention because the resemblance to an iconic face is quite striking. Other times the images are mind boggling because they resemble nothing at all, no matter how much you squint. Such is the case with this Virgin Mary agate. According to this Northland’s News Center report, Jesse Bradshaw, a devoted agate hunter, found this beauty in Northern Minnesota, though months passed before he identified the holy form.

In Bradshaw’s words: "Right here you see a face and a shadow of her eye and a nose and a mouth and a hood around her head there. . . I was kinda having a struggle and I woke up one morning and she was sitting on top of my other agates and staring me right in the face and I knew right away what it represented and I got so emotional; I just wanted to cry right away."

I see something that looks more like an extoskeletal alien. But maybe that’s just me. Bradshaw, however, is convinced that his discovery has blessed him, filling him with positive energy. Offers to purchase the agate have been made but Bradshaw won’t have any of it: “[T]he feeling it's given me is just incredible.”

For those of you keeping score at home, this is the second divine agate of the year. The first one hailed from Montana and possessed, to these well-trained eyes, a better semblance of the Mary. But hey, who am I to chide one’s happiness?

In other news, Madonna of the Toast is now on Facebook! Want to be my friend?

It Came From Above, Part II

Animal defecation and the Virgin Mary in the same sentence? Blasphemy you say? Well, according to this KWTX report, the Pachuca family of Bryan, Texas, calls it a blessing, and “more than a coincidence.”

Cristal Pachuca says the old truck doesn’t get much use, “but last weekend her husband decided to take it out of their garage and wash it . . . A few moments later the image appeared.”

While the Pachucas don’t use the word “miracle” to describe this bird bowel movement, the gawkers don’t hesitate: “Onlookers say the image is a miracle because the distinct colors and outline of the image on the truck match the image of Virgin Guadalupe.”

I guess an ornithologist familiar with the local flora, fauna, earthworms and such would be able to explain the coloration, but until I find a resident bird expert we’ll defer to the locals.

Of course, Texans know a thing or two about sacred fecal forms. Who remembers this post from May 2007 about a bird poop Jesus? How can you really forget such a thing?



And since we’re strolling down memory lane, don’t forget about the book. Maybe if you leave it out on your windowsill it will collect its very own divine doo-doo . . .

Another Tree, Another Country

This Virgin Mary tree stump marks Madonna of the Toast’s first trip to Ireland! According to this RTE report, workers chopping down trees at the Holy Mary Parish Church in Rathkeale, County Limerick, saw Mary in this cross section of one of the trees.

Upon being made public, nightly vigils have attracted hundreds of visitors and apparently thousands of people have signed a petition “to keep the stump in the grounds permanently.”

The church is not so cheery about the discovery. Father Willie Russell, a local priest, said, “It’s only a tree”; Father Paul Finnerty said, “While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition.”

Probably not the best word choice on the part of Father Finnerty, what with Christianity being built around rites and rituals followed on blind faith.

Another Virgin Mary Tortilla

The manifestations of Jesus and the Virgin Mary on tortillas is so common new instances start to sound like the start of a bad joke. But here we are again, this time in Harlingen, Texas, where, according to this KRGV report, a couple discovered this image of the Virgin Mary on a freshly made tortilla. The unnamed devout couple considers the form a blessing and have since enshrined the tortilla and taken it to a local church to be blessed.

Roadside America has a great description of the original Jesus tortilla: “No one realized at the time, but the 1977 appearance of Jesus Christ on a flour tortilla set the international standard for miracle sightings . . . the Miracle Tortilla was the first to fully wrap around the collective pop subconscious.” Discovered in New Mexico, the tortilla remained a point of interest until 2005, when the granddaughter of its creator took it to school for show and tell where it broke after being dropped.

Maybe this new one will take the place of the original Miracle Tortilla or inspire another movie, though I doubt it since more are bound to come along . . .

Holy Mamma!

What does the image above look like to you? Pretty womanly, right? Estimated to be approximately 35,000 years old, the discovery of this ivory female figure was made public a few weeks ago in the journal Nature, according to this New York Times article (which is also a few weeks old).

Found in a cave in southwestern Germany, the explicit form stands apart from other extant examples of Paleolithic art. The emphasis on the breasts and vulva makes it clear that the person who carved this object was celebrating the role of women in reproduction.

There have been several similar discoveries in the same region over the past 70 years. Archaeologist Paul Mellars, as quoted by The Times, said of the region and the artifacts it has yielded, it is “a veritable art gallery of early ‘modern’ human art . . . [which] must be seen as the birthplace of true sculpture in the European — maybe global — artistic tradition.”

This dovetails with my review of Miri Rubin's Mother of God, which you can read over at The Rumpus. Rubin’s fascinating book elucidates how images of Mary were used to spread Christianity, very much based on her unique status as a human vessel for the divine. I approached the book from the Madonna of the Toast perspective. The tropes and trends Rubin identifies as the major factors in establishing Mary’s allure fit with the stories I relay here. How? Because no matter what you believe, these are human stories, all of which can be distilled to archetypes, like this curvy carving.

Iceman Did Not Keep His Cool

Remember back in 1997 when the Virgin Mary/Our Lady of Guadalupe was spotted on a tree in Salt Lake City? Neither do I. But news of Leslie Iceman’s attempt to burn down the tree offers us an excuse to stroll down memory lane. According to this ABC 4 story, Iceman, a homeless man, “used matches and cardboard to try and burn the platform that leads up to the spot where the image was.”

Apparently the Virgin’s form is no longer, thanks to a previous incident during which the “image was gouged out.” People still congregate at the tree, however, and the shrine remains. Facing charges of public intoxication and arson, there’s no speculation about why Iceman did what he did.



Above, the image as it once appeared and the image superimposed with an actual painting of Mary.

Here is a history of the tree written on the occasion of the visual manifestation’s tenth anniversary. The author, Richelle Hawks, was the evening manager of the New Age and paranormal section at a Salt Lake City Barnes & Noble back in 1997. One night a customer informed her that the form of Mary had appeared on this tree and after closing that night she and a friend went to check it out: “There was a ladder up against a tree as the woman described . . . The only light in this rundown, crack-house-infested neighborhood was a lone, flickering streetlamp. But, there did seem to be a darker, detailed oval figure in the smooth stump-which could pass even in the bad lighting for the traditional Virgin of Guadalupe. And it was wet – 'crying', as the woman described.”

Hawks relays the vague details of the initial discovery, credited to an anonymous city official “who was attending to or cutting the tree's broken limb, which had been damaged by lightning.” Of course, Salt Lake City’s Catholics are a minority, but an organized one that is predominately Latino and the shrine came to be. The piece goes on to draw parallel’s between these events and the story of Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe. A bit of a stretch, but Hawks also posits that the tree actually led to the neighborhood’s gentrification.



How long before someone comes along and sees Mary in the charred residual of Leslie Iceman’s failed effort?

Speaking Words of Wisdom

If you haven’t noticed, newspapers and magazines have been dropping like flies, leaving reporters and freelance writers with fewer and fewer outlets to hawk their written wares. Just ask Jonathan Tilove, a long-time Washington DC beat reporter who has been hustling between bureaus for the last several months. According to this email he sent to Poynter Online, it was all of his shuttling around the capital going from cubicle to cubicle that resulted in him discovering this likeness of the Virgin Mary. In his words: “On Monday evening, May 4, I went back to the Cox office to pack the rest of my boxes and clean out my cubicle. And there it was, on my desk, a coffee stain in the image of the Virgin Mary. I was a little surprised. Why me? I'm Jewish.”

Tilove answers his own question: religion aside, this guy has a lot of Mary in his life. He and his wife honeymooned in Fatima, Portugal, location of a very famous Mary visitation in 1917; Tilove also admits that he and his wife have lots of Mary art in their home.

Leave it to a hard-nosed journalist, however, to push speculation aside and stick with the facts:

Perhaps, most crucially, I provided the medium for the appearance of the coffee-stain Madonna by allowing the remains of a cup of coffee to slowly leak out of a paper cup and then only casually blotting up the spill with an old notebook. I am still not sure what it means, but I confess that amid all the layoffs and furloughs and forced relocations, seeing the image comforted me. As it has been written, "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me ..."

Let it be, Jonathan, let it be . . .

The form actually looks more like a mushroom-capped fairy. But it's not about what I see.

What do you see?

Myth Makers

I saw this Virgin Mary image during a recent trip to Colorado and Utah, where the dramatic and ancient landscapes hold many forms and faces. But, of course, what I recognize as a visual manifestation of a religious or secular icon in stone has existed since well before humans and religions. In many of the Madonna of the Toast stories, people see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in a tree or rock, but in the shadow of such grandeur of places like Natural Bridges, Valley of the Gods and Canyonlands I couldn’t help but ponder myth and how it is made visual, and recognizable.

Along with the spires of red rock stacked like totem poles (replete with human-esque faces) and towering canyon walls that reveal millions of years worth of geological history, screaming with Edvard Munch faces, myth cannot be ignored when you also consider the abundance of the region’s petroglyphs and pictographs, most of which were left by the Anasazi (a Navajo word meaning “ancient ones”). I first learned of the Anasazi years ago when I met photographer Nathan Troi Anderson, a very good friend of mine and the impetus for this trip. I had seen his photographs of these symbols, but had never had the chance to look at them in situ. While I’m no expert on the Anasazi, or the American Southwest for that matter, it wasn’t hard for me to put the two subjects within a Madonna of the Toast context.



The exact meanings of these ancient symbols are difficult to define, especially since the Anasazi more or less disappeared, leaving little more than these markings, some structures and various artifacts. But standing in these stunning canyons, looking at the natural contours of stone weathered by time, it is clear that the manmade images respond directly to these natural environments, for it is all these people knew. It was through their interactions with the land, the sky and the seasons that the meaning of life took shape. The shape of these meanings, whatever they might be, are seen in lightning bolt lines, dizzying circles and majestic shaman forms. This is the stuff of myth.

When I saw the Virgin Mary shape in Utah, it was myth speaking to me, though in this case the myth is not as old as the form. For its relative youth, on a geological scale as well as human scale, Christian mythology, particularly that of the Virgin Mary, has proliferated over time. When you consider that Mary is mentioned only 19 times in the Bible (she is mentioned 34 times in the Qu’ran) her popularity is astounding. What do we make of this?

No matter when they came into being or where they were located, all human cultures have their own creation stories in which a mother figure plays a central role. With the Anasazi, as one example, feminine forms are not hard to discern in the petroglyphs and pictographs. Their importance is also bolstered by the belief that the Anasazi held their most sacred ceremonies in manmade ritual caves, or kivas. These areas were built underground so participants would have to go down into them and then later emerge, much like a child exiting the womb.



From both the literal and figurative perspectives, the Christ story also possesses this maternal quality, which was recognized and elaborated as Christianity spread. In fact, Western interest in Mary did not flourish until the 12th century, though the power of her myth was recognized all along. According to this Maclean's article, “when nascent Christianity spread to Egypt and encountered the cult of Isis, mother of the god Horus, Mary’s status began to rise even higher. Isis was a powerful and kind-hearted deity, attributes Mary soon acquired.”

The article is essentially a review of Miri Rubin’s Mother of God: A History of the Virgin Mary, which apparently identifies the real power of the Mary myth:

[T]ension—poised between virgin and mother, human and divine—is the source of her endless variety of portrayals, all gracefully traced by Rubin, from the young, sometimes playful, virgin girl to the grief-stricken and empathetic mother at Calvary. The need to ground Mary explains why she did die, as befits a mortal, but was raised bodily to heaven, as befits the mother of God . . . But there was a Mary for everyone, not just motherless clerics, in the flowering of medieval Mariology. For every image of a heavenly queen commissioned by wealthy art patrons, there was a story of the humble carpenter’s wife, particularly gracious to the poor and those who suffered.



This dovetails perfectly with the Madonna of the Toast mantra: What do you see? Throughout time, whether in the form of ancient inscriptions or Biblical stories, the visual manifestations of mythic iconic forms have endured the tests of time because they can represent a range of meanings, depending on the viewers. And while interpretations of the images may vary, they all demonstrate the human need for asserting our presence in this mysterious world where answers are nowhere near as important as interpretations.

BBQ Mary

If there’s one thing people take as seriously as religion, it’s barbeque, especially in Texas if these articles from Texas Monthly and The New Yorker serve as indicators. So there is synchronicity to this Virgin Mary image discovered in Odessa on the lid of a grill.

Employees at Reliable Transport Auto Shop first noticed the form a few weeks ago, and since then a shrine has been erected and regular Sunday services have occurred. No word on what these folks had been grilling to create this Mary shape but according to this News West 9 story the employees believe it to be a divine visual manifestation. But they also “say it's up to individuals to judge for themselves.”

Monsignor James Bridges suggests, however, that it is not “authentic,” seeming to care very little about what others think. He asks: “What does it lead people to . . . Does it lead people to be better people? Does it lead people to be deeper in their faith? If all of these things lead to what I would call the agenda of Christ, that would put them in a position of being more believable.”

The word “agenda” always puts me off, and for a priest to use the word in the context of Jesus strikes me as rather absurd. To answer Bridges’s question, it does seem that this image has led "people to be deeper in faith,” hence the weekly services, the candles, rosaries, prayers and hymns.

Madonna of the Toast stories whip people into action, from the media to the faithful to dissenters. As I write in the book: “Whether on the level of sacrosanct devotion or pop culture kitsch, these forms become as relevant as the world’s finest art because they compel people to react; the objects in this book, emblazoned with faces and symbols recognized the world over, have been appraised at stunningly high sums, been toured around the globe and have inspired people to travel, pray and steal.”

What say you, Monsignor?

A Colorful Stone

Sergio Romero of Pocatello, Idaho, took a trip to Las Vegas last year and traded an antique coin purse for the colorful stone pictured above. According to this KPVI story, back at home while polishing the new acquisition Romero discovered what he sees as the Virgin Mary in the asparagus-tip shaped blue of the stone. Said Romero: “I'm not a religious man. This has kind of turned me to looking into religion. As a matter of fact, I think I might even go to church this Sunday.”

I don’t see the shape, but the jade and blue are dazzling. That must have been some antique coin purse. Perhaps sometime soon Romero will be able to get the purse back, because no amount of newly discovered faith is going to keep him from selling this on eBay, which he plans to do within the next month.

Where Graffiti and Religion Meet

For the most part, Madonna of the Toast stories end in one of two ways: they drop off the media’s radar, fading into obscurity or they get sold on eBay, making the attention last a bit longer (but not that much longer). But there is a third, less common possibility: defacement.



Above, a devil graffiti painted atop the Virgin Mary. The image in question is in Chicago, underneath the Kennedy Expressway. A hospital worker first spotted the image back in 2005 and since then people have wandered through litter and homeless encampments to leave a memento and say a prayer. The city’s department of transportation attributes the belled image to road salt, but that has not dissuaded the faithful, or the detractors.

This is not the first time the image has been vandalized. According to this article from Medill Reports (a creation of Northwestern University’s graduate journalism program), the image has been the victim of two previous attacks. Once, the words “big lie” were scrawled across the shape; the second time someone riffed on Edvard Munch’s The Scream.



In the past, the city has scrubbed away the paint, but not this time, so they just used one of the classic methods of graffiti abatement: a rectilinear paint over.

I like graffiti. It can be artful, political, smart, cute and funny. I think there is a lot to be said for the public reclaiming certain spaces and surfaces. Hitting someone’s home should never be done, unless requested. Yes, much of what gets tagged, stenciled or painted in urban settings is private or government property, making it a fine line (at least from a legal perspective).

So, what do we make of someone painting over an image that some people find important? The articles say that no one has complained about Mary being painted over by the city, but that doesn’t answer the question. Thoughts?

Montana in the Mix

Jeff Wahl found this agate on the bank of the Yellowstone River, seeing what looked to him like a kneeling figure. According to this Billings Gazette article, when Wahl got home “he cut the agate on his rock saw and revealed what he says is a resemblance of the Virgin Mary kneeling while cradling her baby Jesus. An aura seems to enshroud Mary's head. He calls it the Prayer Agate.”

Once again, the image in question is difficult to discern. It looks more like an ultrasound of a fetus than the typical Virgin Mary shape. I will say that it echoes the lava lamp image from the previous post. No matter what you or I see, however, the story was reported and now I’m relaying it.

To his credit, Wahl made his find public with the hope that he could raise money to help his friend, who is very ill and awaiting a liver transplant. Cash is tight for the friend and Wahl wants to help.

Also worth noting that this is the first time that a Madonna of the Toast story has hailed from Montana. This brings the grand total of states where these stories have originated to 29, with 16 countries and two planets also representing.

Lava Lamp Vision

For this most recent report of Mary and Jesus appearing unexpectedly we head down under, to Sydney, Australia, where one John Smith – at least that’s what he’s calling himself – has made public his psychedelic discovery: “I turned on my brand new lava lamp and watched in awe as the unmistakable image of the Holy Mary cradling the Baby Jesus appeared.” According to this Herald Sun article, Smith has kept this visual manifestation private for over a year, during which he has kept the lamp unplugged and his life has gone from ho-hum to dandy – including lucrative job offers and a woman. Now it’s time to share this “miracle” with the world, hence www.holymarylamp.com.

The article, dated January 16, reports that at the time of writing the site’s visitor counter read 251, but as of writing this, also on January 16, the ticker reads over 54,000! Never ceases to amaze me how folks love looking at these images (or love to hate looking at them).

For those of you keeping score at home, this is the first time a lava lamp has been the vessel for such a vision, which is kind of surprising really. There have been plenty of foodstuffs, plastic bags, stones, driftwood and chipping paint but no lava lamps. These colorful novelty items have been around since the 1960s, becoming a critical accoutrement to any hippie hideaway. I bet John Smith isn’t the first person to turn on a lava lamp and see Jesus, but he’s certainly the first guy to dedicate a website to his vision.



Not that lava lamps are underrepresented in today’s culture, as this Obama lava lamp proves.

The News in the News

From the inception of this project, my spins on these stories have always been linked to how the media treats them, and how those treatments get others to react. Here then is the story of Pamela Latrimore, as told by her on eBay, where she is in the process of selling this brain scan, where in the cerebral folds of her brain she has discovered the Virgin Mary.



Nothing shocking about that, right? Jesus and Mary have popped up in ultrasounds and MRIs plenty of times. It’s not even particularly surprising that it looks like this item will sell for more than $700. What’s interesting is how this event, for Latrimore, has spurred her campaign for awareness about Agent Orange dioxins that have long been polluting her hometown of Jacksonville, Arkansas. In her words from eBay: “Some do not see the image some do. I'm not here to dispute that. I see it and I think it is a blessing and a miracle. The miracle to me is people are now aware of this town.”

Yes, her explanation of all this is erratic in terms of spelling, grammar and capitalization, but this abstract from a November 4, 1991 issue of The Nation proves that Latrimore is not exaggerating the severity of illnesses and environmental issues that have plagued this town since the end of the Vietnam War. Apparently, the Vertac Chemical Corporation stored various toxins all over the town: “It is opined that no one knows for certain if a house or backyard isn't directly on top of a yet-to-be-identified toxic dump.” Yikes!

Latrimore says she is very ill and while she and others have long fought to save themselves, their town and other towns that suffer the same plight, dead ends are all they seem to hit. But now, this image of the Virgin Mary has garnered national media attention, including a potential appearance on CNN (according to Latrimore).

I’m just tuning in to this issue today. I can’t verify Latrimore’s claims, but searching around, they don’t strike me as outlandish. What does it say about the culture of media when real human suffering does not receive proper reporting until a purported image of the Virgin Mary in a brain scan becomes a part of the story? I’d say that the media, at least the mainstream media (CNN, I’m talking to you, too), has conditioned us to consider tabloid stories as hard news. That’s why banner headlines on AOL and Yahoo inform us about reality television dramas. If that’s your thing, fine, but that ain’t news.

More on this as it develops . . .

Update (12/18/08): The MRI sold for $730, going to an anonymous California bidder. With more than $100,000 in medical bills, this was clearly not about the money for Latrimore. According to this WFTS report, she is actually disappointed that the auction only received 21,977 views over the course of 10 days because she was hoping to raise even more awareness about the pollution that plagues her hometown of Jacksonville, Arkansas. It doesn’t seem like that CNN appearance ever happened – maybe it was too much news?

An Ode to Salsa

Recognizable faces and shapes have appeared on a dizzying array of substrates, formed by jet streams and condensation, frothing oatmeal, rust, wood grain and now, salsa – my favorite condiment. Of course, no proper story about a salsa-splatter Virgin Mary could originate anywhere else but California. After living there for 5 years I can attest to the glories of California salsa. Thanks to the close proximity of so much amazing produce, the state’s Mexican food is often accompanied by a range of salsa as varied as these Madonna of the Toast tales. Pineapple, watermelon, apple, mango, corn, pumpkin seed, tomatillo, heirloom tomatoes – all of these flavors of salsa exist. Free avocado salsa so plentiful you can fill a cup and drink it? Head to Cancun in Berkeley (portion of the famous salsa bar pictured above).



So to Bakersfield, California, we go, where, according to this FaceBakersfield story, Elvia Alvarez was making salsa. Some of it splattered against the wall, forming what Alvarez immediately recognized as the Virgin Mary. Since it has appeared, Alvarez also says her house has smelled like roses, although there are no roses in the house, or neighborhood. Such a scent may come in handy if she leaves that stain on the wall. Odors aside, Alvarez believes the image to be a sign from God that people should learn to treat one another better.

As you can tell from the photograph, this is a pretty standard tomato salsa that Alvarez was blending, nothing more than tomato, chili peppers, onion and cilantro. With the exception of tomatillo salsa, I prefer a chunkier, rustic salsa, hand-chopped and mixed, so a recipe like Alvarez’s doesn’t come out as spicy ketchup. I like my salsa to have a bit of crunchy texture, so those spikes of cilantro, jalapeno and onion really contrast with the tomatoes.

While its carbon footprint is questionable, one of my favorite salsas to make in the winter is mango salsa, thanks to the abundance of cheap South American mangos found at my Astoria produce stand of choice. Let them get really ripe and then chunk them, scrape all the flesh off the pit with a spoon, letting the juice run into the bowl, add some onion, garlic, cilantro, jalapeno, lemon, salt, pepper and you have a top-notch mango salsa, good with chips, on fish tacos or dolloped into a bowl of chili. If you’re really lucky, some of the mango juice will run down your wrist, hit the counter and congeal into the face of Frida Kahlo.

And the Angels Sing

The election is over (YAAAAY!), and so now it is back to business as usual, or as usual as matters can be in these parts. This story is a pre-election story, but just about a week old. It came to me via a Google alert, and I was tickled by the fact that the writer cited this here blog to give the story a bit of context (though she should have mentioned the book, too).

Found near Johnny Mercer’s Pier in Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina, this shell immediately struck the stroller as resembling the Virgin Mary. According to the article, “like a good entrepreneur,” the person that found the shell, no doubt reeling from religious ecstasy, put it up for sale on eBay. Nothing surprising in that, but what is surprising is that the shell sold for $135 after 26 bids.

The shell’s ribbing does create the effect of a robe, and its belled shape echoes the iconic form of Mary, but I’m not quite sure why this item would sell while so many other more or less similar items do not sell, or sell for a couple of bucks. I guess some people really like shells.

But that’s the beauty of these stories, there is so much you can never know and wondering can be the real joy.

I wonder why a pier in North Carolina is named after Savannah, Georgia’s most famous son?