Montana in the Mix

Jeff Wahl found this agate on the bank of the Yellowstone River, seeing what looked to him like a kneeling figure. According to this Billings Gazette article, when Wahl got home “he cut the agate on his rock saw and revealed what he says is a resemblance of the Virgin Mary kneeling while cradling her baby Jesus. An aura seems to enshroud Mary's head. He calls it the Prayer Agate.”

Once again, the image in question is difficult to discern. It looks more like an ultrasound of a fetus than the typical Virgin Mary shape. I will say that it echoes the lava lamp image from the previous post. No matter what you or I see, however, the story was reported and now I’m relaying it.

To his credit, Wahl made his find public with the hope that he could raise money to help his friend, who is very ill and awaiting a liver transplant. Cash is tight for the friend and Wahl wants to help.

Also worth noting that this is the first time that a Madonna of the Toast story has hailed from Montana. This brings the grand total of states where these stories have originated to 29, with 16 countries and two planets also representing.

Lava Lamp Vision

For this most recent report of Mary and Jesus appearing unexpectedly we head down under, to Sydney, Australia, where one John Smith – at least that’s what he’s calling himself – has made public his psychedelic discovery: “I turned on my brand new lava lamp and watched in awe as the unmistakable image of the Holy Mary cradling the Baby Jesus appeared.” According to this Herald Sun article, Smith has kept this visual manifestation private for over a year, during which he has kept the lamp unplugged and his life has gone from ho-hum to dandy – including lucrative job offers and a woman. Now it’s time to share this “miracle” with the world, hence www.holymarylamp.com.

The article, dated January 16, reports that at the time of writing the site’s visitor counter read 251, but as of writing this, also on January 16, the ticker reads over 54,000! Never ceases to amaze me how folks love looking at these images (or love to hate looking at them).

For those of you keeping score at home, this is the first time a lava lamp has been the vessel for such a vision, which is kind of surprising really. There have been plenty of foodstuffs, plastic bags, stones, driftwood and chipping paint but no lava lamps. These colorful novelty items have been around since the 1960s, becoming a critical accoutrement to any hippie hideaway. I bet John Smith isn’t the first person to turn on a lava lamp and see Jesus, but he’s certainly the first guy to dedicate a website to his vision.



Not that lava lamps are underrepresented in today’s culture, as this Obama lava lamp proves.

Vatican Gag Order

This is a bit off topic, but relevant nonetheless. According to this UPI report: “The Vatican plans to release a handbook to help Roman Catholic bishops investigate claims of heavenly visions of Jesus and the Virgin Mary.” Regular readers know that Madonna of the Toast is only about the visual manifestations of Jesus and the Virgin Mary (among other recognizable icons), and while they happen frequently enough to keep this blog somewhat lively, if I relayed every story about “heavenly visions” – like statues crying blood and individuals channeling Jesus – it would be a full-time job.

Some of the news stories about this pending Vatican report tread on being sensationalistic, but I did find an even keeled analysis of this development by John L. Allen Jr. on the National Catholic Reporter. All of the perspectives seem to agree that this is a power play. In Allen’s words: “[I]n the Catholic system the only ‘licensed’ spokespersons for God, so to speak, are the ordained. The eruption of alternative channels of revelation, especially among laity, thus has the potential to make officialdom nervous.”

I’ll say, according to these articles, upon any report of such a vision, the seer will be thoroughly investigated and vetted by church officials. Psychiatrists, theologians, spiritual experts and even exorcists will examine the individual in question. During the examination he or she must stay out of the limelight, since seeking publicity comes off as dubious. The person must also turn over their computer in order for investigators to see if the “suspect” – though this really sounds like guilty until proven innocent – had been researching suspicious topics.

In talking to people and reading quite a bit about people seeing Jesus -- whether as an animated apparition or an oil stain -- the general consensus about them is that they are just having a bit of fun, a crafty entrepreneur looking to make a quick buck on eBay or a crackpot. What then does the church have to worry about?

That there is what you call one of them rhetorical questions. If you find spiritual solace outside of a church, then you won’t go to a church, and this is what worries the Vatican. Allen dubs it “quality control” which strikes me as incredibly impersonal, mechanical even. But I guess dogma is kind of like a conveyor belt, it keeps coming and there’s not much you can do about it . . .

Okay, maybe not like a conveyor belt exactly, but the spiritual should be personal. If a visit to the woman speaking to Mary puts your mind at ease, or lighting a candle for a shrine set up by a telephone poll resembling Jesus on the cross slakes your worries, do it. If the faithful were jumping ship to worship American Idol winners, I could kind of understand this, but what the Vatican is reacting to is a result of its proselytizing -- the church has taught people to look for Jesus for help. Lots of people need help so it should come as no surprise that Jesus and Mary get seen all over the place.

This isn’t new actually. Allen explains that this report is more of an update of a 1978 document compiled by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith that was sent to bishop’s all over the world “outlining the procedure to be followed in cases of reports of supernatural happenings.” Then there was the Vatican’s 2003 condemnation of New Age, urging people not to seek spiritual fulfillment in pursuits like yoga and feng shui and shamanism (though all three are quite a bit older than Christianity). (This is the Vatican’s official stance on New Age.) The Vatican's goal is to keep Catholics in line with Catholic doctrine and these personalized spiritual beliefs can’t be contained because they are different for everyone.

As more and more people react to seeing Jesus and Mary in ordinary places I guess the Vatican will dedicate lots of time to digging through people’s internet search histories. Maybe they’ll stumble across this blog!

Update: Speaking of holy visions and the pilgrimages they inspire, The Economist’s January 15 “Correspondent’s Diary”: “Pilgrims in Rhineland” describes a journey through Catholic pilgrimage sites in Germany and the author sites Madonna of the Toast as a “lively book” that documents these stories. How about that!

Kuckuck

According to this Bremerton Patriot report, Allen Kuckuck of Poulsbo, Washington, bought a handful of “novelty rocks” before Christmas and when he got them home and examined them “one rock spun around, revealing a new perspective on the crisscross pattern of its surface . . . depicting Jesus toting a cross on his back.”

Sure, the photograph doesn’t reveal much, if anything, about the image, but haven’t we learned after all of these visual manifestations that the actual image is less important than the story created around it?

In the story, Kuckuck jokes about selling the rock on eBay, though he doesn’t own a computer: “I’m going to sell it if I can get $20 million.” Kuckuck identifies himself as religious, and as a painter, so he has an eye for these things, and apparently a decent sense of humor about them.



How about the surname? I’m pretty sure it is of German heritage. Some Googling around also suggests that it is what Germans call the bird cuculus canorus, otherwise known as the cuckoo. What a great onomatopoeia! Apparently, the kuckucks that migrate to Germany have the bad reputation of laying eggs in preexisting nests. The female will lay her egg, eat one of the eggs already in the nest and then fly off, leaving her egg to be cared for by the other female bird. I discovered this tidbit here, but be warned, the writer uses this example of nature’s ways to present a screed on human morality. Kuckuck, kuckuck, kuckuck.

A New Year

A new year: a new president about to be sworn in, a dismal economy, the end of the Holidaze, winter and, of course, more stories about recognizable forms and faces appearing in unexpected places. I think it is safe to say that every year is the year of Madonna of the Toast!

This story from the Las Vegas Sun does provide a twist on the standard story, however. Antonia Baker of West Valley claims that every tile in her kitchen carries on it an image of Jesus. The 13 x 13 inch ceramic tiles were put down in the kitchen eight years ago, but Baker only noticed them three years ago “during the Christmas season while she was recovering from surgery for an eye injury. Doctors said she had to keep her head down to allow her retina to heal. She wasn't allowed to read or use the computer, so she had to stare at the floor for three weeks.” Sounds like that would make for a sore neck.

I know the image above is less than ideal, but if you really want to take a look at the tile, click here for a slideshow. Thing is, the Jesus part of the pattern is pretty tough to see. What’s most interesting about this story is that the form Baker claims to be that of Jesus is replicated on all of the tiles. Most of these instances are one-off examples of pareidolia. As the article points out, there could be many kitchen floors in the greater Las Vegas area with the same Jesus tiles.

Baker has tried to sell a few of her tiles on eBay, but to no avail, so she is happy to keep walking all over Jesus.



With a new year also comes the obligatory year-end retrospective of the previous year. California’s Porterville Recorder did one such nostalgic romp of 2008’s most popular stories and at the top of the list, above murders, fatal car accidents and the presidential election, a story about this angel image. Seen on the window of a local business, the image drew thousands of visitors and even got a shout-out from Keith Olbermann. And then, a couple of weeks later an image of Jesus on the cross appeared on a palm tree next to the window that initially got all of the attention.

The past two years have been pretty good for this ongoing project. Maybe this year the book will get Olbermann's attention -- remember, every year is the Year of Madonna of the Toast!

The News in the News

From the inception of this project, my spins on these stories have always been linked to how the media treats them, and how those treatments get others to react. Here then is the story of Pamela Latrimore, as told by her on eBay, where she is in the process of selling this brain scan, where in the cerebral folds of her brain she has discovered the Virgin Mary.



Nothing shocking about that, right? Jesus and Mary have popped up in ultrasounds and MRIs plenty of times. It’s not even particularly surprising that it looks like this item will sell for more than $700. What’s interesting is how this event, for Latrimore, has spurred her campaign for awareness about Agent Orange dioxins that have long been polluting her hometown of Jacksonville, Arkansas. In her words from eBay: “Some do not see the image some do. I'm not here to dispute that. I see it and I think it is a blessing and a miracle. The miracle to me is people are now aware of this town.”

Yes, her explanation of all this is erratic in terms of spelling, grammar and capitalization, but this abstract from a November 4, 1991 issue of The Nation proves that Latrimore is not exaggerating the severity of illnesses and environmental issues that have plagued this town since the end of the Vietnam War. Apparently, the Vertac Chemical Corporation stored various toxins all over the town: “It is opined that no one knows for certain if a house or backyard isn't directly on top of a yet-to-be-identified toxic dump.” Yikes!

Latrimore says she is very ill and while she and others have long fought to save themselves, their town and other towns that suffer the same plight, dead ends are all they seem to hit. But now, this image of the Virgin Mary has garnered national media attention, including a potential appearance on CNN (according to Latrimore).

I’m just tuning in to this issue today. I can’t verify Latrimore’s claims, but searching around, they don’t strike me as outlandish. What does it say about the culture of media when real human suffering does not receive proper reporting until a purported image of the Virgin Mary in a brain scan becomes a part of the story? I’d say that the media, at least the mainstream media (CNN, I’m talking to you, too), has conditioned us to consider tabloid stories as hard news. That’s why banner headlines on AOL and Yahoo inform us about reality television dramas. If that’s your thing, fine, but that ain’t news.

More on this as it develops . . .

Update (12/18/08): The MRI sold for $730, going to an anonymous California bidder. With more than $100,000 in medical bills, this was clearly not about the money for Latrimore. According to this WFTS report, she is actually disappointed that the auction only received 21,977 views over the course of 10 days because she was hoping to raise even more awareness about the pollution that plagues her hometown of Jacksonville, Arkansas. It doesn’t seem like that CNN appearance ever happened – maybe it was too much news?

If Everyone Else Does It, It Must Be Okay

Connie Covert from Idaho Falls, Idaho, has come out of the closet. No, wait, she’s come out about her closet. According to this Local News 8 report, Covert first noticed an image of Jesus on this door in her home over 30 years ago but “was afraid to tell anyone fearing she would be called crazy.” All of the stories about Jesus and the Virgin Mary showing up in all sorts of places inspired Covert to make her secret public. Of the people she has shown, only about half see Jesus, while others see a hobo or a horse. I kind of see Macho Man Randy Savage.



Covert is not religious, but she interprets the face as a sign that something has been looking over her for decades, especially since her life is tragedy free: “Trailer hasn’t burned down or anything.” The article doesn’t establish any specific reason for Covert’s confession, though it does make clear that she has no intention of selling the image on eBay.

Attitudes change with the times. Sure, there is still plenty of bigotry and racism out there – all over the world – but it is fair to say that culture at large, as filtered through the media, has become more accepting of pretty much everyone and everything, even, apparently, how people will think of you if you claim to see Jesus, Mary or Mickey Mouse in a water stain. What once might have resulted in your neighbors inconspicuously whispering about you has become something of a status symbol, or at least a way to attract some attention and get your fifteen minutes of fame.

Maybe that’s the essence of this shift in perception, that getting noticed, being on the news, even for less than complimentary reasons, is the status symbol. Because if you read enough reader comments tagged on to the end of these Madonna of the Toast stories, plenty of people like Covert get ridiculed, pretty harshly at times. But, no matter what people write and say about you, if your story is out there, circulating all over the world, then you have arrived: I can be Googled, therefore I am.

Hopefully Covert doesn’t regret making her story known.