Cheesus Redux

The story of Dan and Sara Bell’s Cheesus has been making the media rounds of late. According to this CBS 11 report the Texas couple bought a bag of Cheetos and Sara got to eating them: "I was putting them in my hand and I had eaten most of the ones in my hand, and one was left lying there. And I said, 'Oh my gosh, look at this. It really looks like a person in a robe praying.'"

The Bells have joked about trying to sell their find on eBay, though for now it’s just being stored in a plastic box: “They say it is a reminder of their blessings from God; but primarily they think it's a funny Cheeto.”

The couple dubbed the 2-inch tall snack “Cheesus” but they should not be credited with coining the term. If you remember, back in March of 2008 the original Cheesus was made public – how quickly the media and its minions forget. The Week, a magazine that distills the most newsworthy stories of the previous week, really demonstrates the media’s lack of any memory. In the magazine’s gloss of this story, which I’m shocked they bothered to pick up, there is no mention of the original Cheesus. Furthermore, they cite an article from the Houston Chronicle written by a rabbi who wonders, “Why don’t Jews see things in our food?”

Obviously not enough people have read Madonna of the Toast or kept up with the blog. Who can forget the Star of David oatmeal?!?

Iceman Did Not Keep His Cool

Remember back in 1997 when the Virgin Mary/Our Lady of Guadalupe was spotted on a tree in Salt Lake City? Neither do I. But news of Leslie Iceman’s attempt to burn down the tree offers us an excuse to stroll down memory lane. According to this ABC 4 story, Iceman, a homeless man, “used matches and cardboard to try and burn the platform that leads up to the spot where the image was.”

Apparently the Virgin’s form is no longer, thanks to a previous incident during which the “image was gouged out.” People still congregate at the tree, however, and the shrine remains. Facing charges of public intoxication and arson, there’s no speculation about why Iceman did what he did.



Above, the image as it once appeared and the image superimposed with an actual painting of Mary.

Here is a history of the tree written on the occasion of the visual manifestation’s tenth anniversary. The author, Richelle Hawks, was the evening manager of the New Age and paranormal section at a Salt Lake City Barnes & Noble back in 1997. One night a customer informed her that the form of Mary had appeared on this tree and after closing that night she and a friend went to check it out: “There was a ladder up against a tree as the woman described . . . The only light in this rundown, crack-house-infested neighborhood was a lone, flickering streetlamp. But, there did seem to be a darker, detailed oval figure in the smooth stump-which could pass even in the bad lighting for the traditional Virgin of Guadalupe. And it was wet – 'crying', as the woman described.”

Hawks relays the vague details of the initial discovery, credited to an anonymous city official “who was attending to or cutting the tree's broken limb, which had been damaged by lightning.” Of course, Salt Lake City’s Catholics are a minority, but an organized one that is predominately Latino and the shrine came to be. The piece goes on to draw parallel’s between these events and the story of Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe. A bit of a stretch, but Hawks also posits that the tree actually led to the neighborhood’s gentrification.



How long before someone comes along and sees Mary in the charred residual of Leslie Iceman’s failed effort?

Speaking Words of Wisdom

If you haven’t noticed, newspapers and magazines have been dropping like flies, leaving reporters and freelance writers with fewer and fewer outlets to hawk their written wares. Just ask Jonathan Tilove, a long-time Washington DC beat reporter who has been hustling between bureaus for the last several months. According to this email he sent to Poynter Online, it was all of his shuttling around the capital going from cubicle to cubicle that resulted in him discovering this likeness of the Virgin Mary. In his words: “On Monday evening, May 4, I went back to the Cox office to pack the rest of my boxes and clean out my cubicle. And there it was, on my desk, a coffee stain in the image of the Virgin Mary. I was a little surprised. Why me? I'm Jewish.”

Tilove answers his own question: religion aside, this guy has a lot of Mary in his life. He and his wife honeymooned in Fatima, Portugal, location of a very famous Mary visitation in 1917; Tilove also admits that he and his wife have lots of Mary art in their home.

Leave it to a hard-nosed journalist, however, to push speculation aside and stick with the facts:

Perhaps, most crucially, I provided the medium for the appearance of the coffee-stain Madonna by allowing the remains of a cup of coffee to slowly leak out of a paper cup and then only casually blotting up the spill with an old notebook. I am still not sure what it means, but I confess that amid all the layoffs and furloughs and forced relocations, seeing the image comforted me. As it has been written, "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me ..."

Let it be, Jonathan, let it be . . .

The form actually looks more like a mushroom-capped fairy. But it's not about what I see.

What do you see?

Viva Our Lady of Guadalupe y Lucha Libre

Hilda Maciel was cleaning the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant in Calexico, California, when she discovered this Our Lady of Guadalupe image, according to this Imperial Valley Press article. A border town, it is no surprise that in Calexico the image elicited thoughts of Our Lady of Guadalupe and not the Virgin Mary, though of course the two are more or less the same. Even the local priest that “confirmed the image was a true likeness of the Virgin” hails from Our Lady of Guadalupe Church.

The form really struck Maciel because just two days before seeing it her brother had died of a heart attack and this was her first day back at work: “I believe that for me it’s to give me the strength to continue on.”



While the visual manifestation of this iconic form is pretty standard by Madonna of the Toast standards, the story seems to be making the media rounds by virtue of the fact that the Las Palmas Swap Meet had brought some Lucha Libre wrestlers in from Mexico. The visit made by Renegado and Mr. Tempest to the newly erected shrine provided a unique photo-op. Said Mr. Tempest: “I follow Our Lady of Guadalupe . . . This is amazing. It’s a true miracle.”

The Many Hands of God

Here’s a new one: an attempt to sell a rockslide rendered Hand of God on eBay.



The term “Hand of God” can have very different meanings. Michelangelo’s version from the Sistine Chapel’s “Creation of Adam” is without a doubt the most famous.



But, if you know more about World Cup soccer than art history, Diego Maradona’s infamous “Hand of God goal” from the 1986 Argentina/England World Cup Quarter-Final match probably comes to mind. One of the sport’s most lauded athletes scored two goals on that day, one that he hit in with his hand but was never penalized for, the other a result of Maradona dribbling around 6 British players to score what has since been dubbed “Goal of the Century.” (Argentina won the game, and the World Cup that year.)



If you know about symbolism in antiquity and world religions, “Hand of God” signifies khamsa, or hamsa. The five-fingered figure is believed to have Phoenician origins though it is most commonly associated with Judaism and Islam. Not only do our hands have five fingers, but the Jewish Torah comprises the first five books of the Bible and Islam has its Five Pillars.



According to this CNN report, if you ask Paul Grayhek what the Hand of God looks like, he’ll show you the photograph above, and then try to sell it to you. The Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, resident lost his job and during Lent had been praying. Then on March 8 within a stone’s throw of his home the rocks tumbled, leaving this form, which is about nine feet tall and four feet wide.

Excavating this mass would be expensive, but no worries, you aren’t getting anything material. Says the report: “The buyer will ‘basically be buying the rights, complete and exclusive rights’ to the rock, including literary and movie rights, according to Grayhek.”

He goes on to say: “People think I'm some holier-than-thou person trying to get rich. I'm not . . . The purpose is to spread the story of God and eBay is just a vehicle.”

Well, in this instance eBay is a bit of a jalopy because as of writing this post the item has been removed. Maybe God thought there were better ways to spread His story. Or maybe God’s agent got in touch with Grayhek and explained that literary and movie rights to all rocks and stones have already been sold . . .

Kit Kat Kitsch

Greetings from London, folks. Keeping with the European theme of my current location, the Kit Kat Jesus above was found on Good Friday by some Dutch guy. According to this little blurb (read a translation of the NU.nl letter to the editor here), the guy was on a break and, you guessed it, he broke off a piece of that Kit Kat bar, only to find Jesus.

A brilliant Nestle publicity stunt or a divine snack? Do you think that Kit Kat Easter sales went up in The Netherlands as a result?

More anon . . .

Myth Makers

I saw this Virgin Mary image during a recent trip to Colorado and Utah, where the dramatic and ancient landscapes hold many forms and faces. But, of course, what I recognize as a visual manifestation of a religious or secular icon in stone has existed since well before humans and religions. In many of the Madonna of the Toast stories, people see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in a tree or rock, but in the shadow of such grandeur of places like Natural Bridges, Valley of the Gods and Canyonlands I couldn’t help but ponder myth and how it is made visual, and recognizable.

Along with the spires of red rock stacked like totem poles (replete with human-esque faces) and towering canyon walls that reveal millions of years worth of geological history, screaming with Edvard Munch faces, myth cannot be ignored when you also consider the abundance of the region’s petroglyphs and pictographs, most of which were left by the Anasazi (a Navajo word meaning “ancient ones”). I first learned of the Anasazi years ago when I met photographer Nathan Troi Anderson, a very good friend of mine and the impetus for this trip. I had seen his photographs of these symbols, but had never had the chance to look at them in situ. While I’m no expert on the Anasazi, or the American Southwest for that matter, it wasn’t hard for me to put the two subjects within a Madonna of the Toast context.



The exact meanings of these ancient symbols are difficult to define, especially since the Anasazi more or less disappeared, leaving little more than these markings, some structures and various artifacts. But standing in these stunning canyons, looking at the natural contours of stone weathered by time, it is clear that the manmade images respond directly to these natural environments, for it is all these people knew. It was through their interactions with the land, the sky and the seasons that the meaning of life took shape. The shape of these meanings, whatever they might be, are seen in lightning bolt lines, dizzying circles and majestic shaman forms. This is the stuff of myth.

When I saw the Virgin Mary shape in Utah, it was myth speaking to me, though in this case the myth is not as old as the form. For its relative youth, on a geological scale as well as human scale, Christian mythology, particularly that of the Virgin Mary, has proliferated over time. When you consider that Mary is mentioned only 19 times in the Bible (she is mentioned 34 times in the Qu’ran) her popularity is astounding. What do we make of this?

No matter when they came into being or where they were located, all human cultures have their own creation stories in which a mother figure plays a central role. With the Anasazi, as one example, feminine forms are not hard to discern in the petroglyphs and pictographs. Their importance is also bolstered by the belief that the Anasazi held their most sacred ceremonies in manmade ritual caves, or kivas. These areas were built underground so participants would have to go down into them and then later emerge, much like a child exiting the womb.



From both the literal and figurative perspectives, the Christ story also possesses this maternal quality, which was recognized and elaborated as Christianity spread. In fact, Western interest in Mary did not flourish until the 12th century, though the power of her myth was recognized all along. According to this Maclean's article, “when nascent Christianity spread to Egypt and encountered the cult of Isis, mother of the god Horus, Mary’s status began to rise even higher. Isis was a powerful and kind-hearted deity, attributes Mary soon acquired.”

The article is essentially a review of Miri Rubin’s Mother of God: A History of the Virgin Mary, which apparently identifies the real power of the Mary myth:

[T]ension—poised between virgin and mother, human and divine—is the source of her endless variety of portrayals, all gracefully traced by Rubin, from the young, sometimes playful, virgin girl to the grief-stricken and empathetic mother at Calvary. The need to ground Mary explains why she did die, as befits a mortal, but was raised bodily to heaven, as befits the mother of God . . . But there was a Mary for everyone, not just motherless clerics, in the flowering of medieval Mariology. For every image of a heavenly queen commissioned by wealthy art patrons, there was a story of the humble carpenter’s wife, particularly gracious to the poor and those who suffered.



This dovetails perfectly with the Madonna of the Toast mantra: What do you see? Throughout time, whether in the form of ancient inscriptions or Biblical stories, the visual manifestations of mythic iconic forms have endured the tests of time because they can represent a range of meanings, depending on the viewers. And while interpretations of the images may vary, they all demonstrate the human need for asserting our presence in this mysterious world where answers are nowhere near as important as interpretations.