Canned Religion

Spend enough time squinting and deciphering stains and burns thought to resemble iconic faces and forms and the stories start to get a bit humdrum. Such is the case with this recent Virgin Mary pancake from Glendale, Arizona, made by Bianca Lopez the day before Thanksgiving, according to this ABC 15 report. Short story made shorter: Lopez made a batch of flapjacks for her family and the last one featured a shape that she recognized immediately. This visual manifestation has delivered to Lopez the requisite “peace and comfort” and it is now in her freezer for the sake of posterity. End of story.

But for me the real revelation has been learning about the existence of Batter Blaster. Apparently, folks, including Lopez, spray pancake batter from a can. I guess this really shouldn’t come as a surprise because if you can squeeze cheese (or some semblance thereof) from a can squeeze pretty much anything from a can, right? Cheese is a bit more complex to make than pancakes, however. I’ve always been appalled by the idea of pancake mix, so this pressurized version of the stuff really puts me off, even if it is organic.

Of course, there isn't a boring story in Madonna of the Toast, which does include a papal pancake!

Holy Pancake!

Just before Marilyn Smith was about to sprinkle chocolate chips on top of this pancake, she noticed “a faint image resembling Jesus and Mary.” According to this WPBF News 25 report, Smith was a bit skeptical about the image: “I saw what looked like, possibly, what people may imagine Jesus would look like, or Moses.” Dana Okane, Smith’s daughter, however, had no doubt, as she recognized the shapes immediately because she is a self-proclaimed spiritual person. When asked what it signifies, Okane said, “I think the message is extremely clear that the world bad better clean up its act.” So sure was Okane of this breakfast’s holiness, she decided to sell the pancake on eBay, starting the bidding at $35. Guess what – it sold, for $338.

What strikes me most about this little story is how matters of faith and belief are so individualized that a mother and daughter can hold two very different views about a discolored pancake. Okane read it as a message from God, and doubtless the sale bolstered her opinion. Smith on the other hand seemed to have a more “glass half empty” attitude about the object and what it may or may not mean to others: “Do I think that any nut will come along and pay a fortune for it like they did with the cheesecake or cheese sandwich? No, I hope not, because it really will eventually get really smelly and deteriorate.”



No word as of yet about the “nut” that shelled out the $338, or if the pancake has begun to rot. The folks with the Pope John Paul II pancake, from Madonna of the Toast, preserved theirs in the freezer. Diana Duyser’s grilled cheese sandwich has kept for over a decade with nothing more than some cotton swabbing to hold it in place. As they say, only time will tell.

I wonder if Okane is going to share any of the money with her mom. Seems like it would be the Christian thing to do. Either way, in Smith’s words, the two have a new exclamation to kick around: “We used to say, ‘Holy Cow,’ like everybody else, and after this happened, our new expression is, ‘Holy pancake!’”